You had a fight with your colleague. Now what?

The obvious eye roll. The mid-meeting “wait, you didn’t tell me in advance”. The passive-aggressive email exchanges. When you spend eight-plus hours with the same people, it’s only natural for personalities to clash. It happens to the best of us… and at some point in your career, it will happen to you too (if it has not already!)

But you know what, sometimes these occasional office clashes can be good for you. When you disagree with someone’s idea, it could motivate you to look into your own and see perhaps you can make it better or maybe even combine with your colleague’s POV. Or it can be a way to set things straight, especially when you’re working with a lot of what ifs and what nots. More importantly, office clashes are a good way to relieve stress, especially when the office has been feeling a bit like a pressure cooker lately. All that anxiety and anger have to be directed somewhere!

The difference between a “good” office clash and a “bad” office clash is how you come out of it. The former will make you more inspired to do better work, take a closer look at your abilities, and even form a stronger allegiance with the person you had a clash with now that all that animosity is dealt with. But the latter? Well, if office clashes between colleagues are a regular occurrence in your office, it can create a toxic environment, causing decreased productivity, hurting employee morale, and even cause resentment among team members as well as that feeling of having to take a side.

Since you and your colleagues depend on each other to succeed at work and stay happy while doing it, it’s always a good idea to deal with office conflicts and not let it brew. When tension lingers is when things become gossipy and pretty quickly uncomfortable for everyone.

So how do you deal when you’re in an office clash? Here are some rules.

#1 Cool Off!
Count to 10… or 100. Walking away from the situation is the best thing you can do when in the middle of a heated argument with your colleague. Or if you can’t walk away, remember this piece of advice: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Even if you got that urge to get the last word! Walk to the pantry, get out and get an ice cream to cool off, or just go for a walk around the office block to let all that frustration subside. When you are in a better mood, come back and discuss professionally what needs to be done to remedy the situation.

#2 Don’t let it linger for too long
It’s tempting to just let things boil over until they settle down. Not a good idea as you’re just running away from the problem or worst, trying to diffuse the situation until one day – boom! If your colleague’s passive-aggressive emails are getting to you, tell her in a professional way. Don’t be tempted to reply in the same tone and manner as this will only escalate things. Maybe arrange a face-to-face as soon as possible to settle small misunderstandings before they escalate. Shut that down, we say!

You may also want to realise that your disagreement is rooted in your different work styles. In which case, you need to work out a way that works for you and your colleague on how to best communicate and collaborate. Sometimes, this may require just letting things go – which is a good thing as it makes you the bigger person!

#3 ‘Fess up
So you really did screw up. Instead of being defensive, throwing punches everywhere, it’s always a better idea to own your failure. Making a mistake at work is fine; it really isn’t a big deal. It’s always a learning opportunity. Apologise, lay out concrete steps on how you’ll make up for it. Be willing to be criticised for it, and once that’s over, move on.

#4 It takes two
Even if you didn’t start the fight, consider how your action may have escalated things. You could have reacted more positively… or you could have just ignored whatever snide comments were made. Did you get personal? Did you overreact? Did you hurt your colleague’s reputation? All of these could have been avoided if you took a step back and see perhaps how you could have contributed to the misunderstanding. Learn from that, and see how you can react differently next time.

#5 Compromise
It sucks but sometimes you have to just wave that white flag and give in. You’ve had your say, and so has your colleague. Now it’s time to figure out where you agree and then strike an arrangement that leaves both of you somewhat satisfied. No point trying to push your opinions and ideas on others. If it requires you to give a little so you can take a lot, be that person to give in for the sake of a friendly, amicable work environment for everyone.

Did you have a face-off with your colleague? Tell us what that’s about and what you did after @Graduan.

Photo by Resume Genius on Unsplash.