● By Siew Ching
And what to say instead!
You should already know by now that communication is very important when it comes to work. Whether offering an opinion, providing feedback, or collaborating with your team on who does what – clear, concise communication is essential to ensure everyone is on the same page when it comes to achieving collective goals and building relationships.
Being mindful of what you say to your colleague will go a long way in creating a more welcoming, inclusive, and respectful work environment. Personally for you, it will make work more enjoyable as you accurately convey your message and intentions – no cause for miscommunication or misunderstanding! Plus, how you speak is reflective of yourself. Use strong, defining words, and you’re likely to come across as someone with confidence. Be wishy washy in your communication and well, let’s just say that people at work might not see you as the next leader, even if you’re super capable at what you do!
Which is why we say, here are the three phrases you need to stop using in the workplace and what you can say instead.
#1 Instead of saying “Sorry to bother you,” say “I have a question and I’m hoping you can help”
We get it, you hate intruding on others’ time at work, and you are prone to apologising when it seems like you are doing exactly that. Hence the many times you say “sorry”, “excuse me but…”, “hate to interrupt you”…
Why is this something you should say less of at work? First, when you say sorry, you imply that you are doing something wrong. But if you are seeking help, it’s hardly the case! Also, saying sorry may annoy others, because it comes across as if you’re about to disturb them for something non-essential. It also makes you appear unsure of your position at work – and that’s not something you want to jeopardise simply because of the way you communicate!
Do this instead: Don’t apologise for taking up your co-worker’s time with a request. Tell them politely how they can help. This not only prevents the impression that you are imposing on others but also makes you appear more confident and assertive, two traits you want others to associate you with!
#2 Instead of saying “I don’t agree with you”, try saying “Maybe we can do it this way instead”
Remember, you’re supposed to work as a team and what a good teammate does is approach any problem together in coming up with solutions. Your colleagues will appreciate it if you don’t put them in the spot; in fact, they will be more impressed if you come up with a solution saving them time and worry in the process. The next time you don’t agree with your colleague’s idea, think constructive criticism and not just criticise!
#3 Instead of saying “Are you pregnant? Is everything ok, you look sick? Had a rough weekend eh, you look tired? Have you been eating out a lot?”, try saying...Nothing at all!
This in fact applies to situations outside of the workplace as well! Don’t ask personal questions, especially if you’re not close to that person. Even if you do know someone at work better than the rest, it’s probably best to leave it until the person confides in you. Sure, making small talk is important for rapport and to build relationships but there are some lines you just don’t cross, especially if it is a remark about someone’s appearances. This is simply because it is plain rude. Plus, you never know what is happening to a person’s personal life so it’s best to keep these insensitive questions at bay.
What are some things your colleague said to you that made you go “OMG I can’t believe he just said that”?
You should already know by now that communication is very important when it comes to work. Whether offering an opinion, providing feedback, or collaborating with your team on who does what – clear, concise communication is essential to ensure everyone is on the same page when it comes to achieving collective goals and building relationships.
Being mindful of what you say to your colleague will go a long way in creating a more welcoming, inclusive, and respectful work environment. Personally for you, it will make work more enjoyable as you accurately convey your message and intentions – no cause for miscommunication or misunderstanding! Plus, how you speak is reflective of yourself. Use strong, defining words, and you’re likely to come across as someone with confidence. Be wishy washy in your communication and well, let’s just say that people at work might not see you as the next leader, even if you’re super capable at what you do!
Which is why we say, here are the three phrases you need to stop using in the workplace and what you can say instead.
#1 Instead of saying “Sorry to bother you,” say “I have a question and I’m hoping you can help”
We get it, you hate intruding on others’ time at work, and you are prone to apologising when it seems like you are doing exactly that. Hence the many times you say “sorry”, “excuse me but…”, “hate to interrupt you”…
Why is this something you should say less of at work? First, when you say sorry, you imply that you are doing something wrong. But if you are seeking help, it’s hardly the case! Also, saying sorry may annoy others, because it comes across as if you’re about to disturb them for something non-essential. It also makes you appear unsure of your position at work – and that’s not something you want to jeopardise simply because of the way you communicate!
Do this instead: Don’t apologise for taking up your co-worker’s time with a request. Tell them politely how they can help. This not only prevents the impression that you are imposing on others but also makes you appear more confident and assertive, two traits you want others to associate you with!
#2 Instead of saying “I don’t agree with you”, try saying “Maybe we can do it this way instead”
Remember, you’re supposed to work as a team and what a good teammate does is approach any problem together in coming up with solutions. Your colleagues will appreciate it if you don’t put them in the spot; in fact, they will be more impressed if you come up with a solution saving them time and worry in the process. The next time you don’t agree with your colleague’s idea, think constructive criticism and not just criticise!
#3 Instead of saying “Are you pregnant? Is everything ok, you look sick? Had a rough weekend eh, you look tired? Have you been eating out a lot?”, try saying...Nothing at all!
This in fact applies to situations outside of the workplace as well! Don’t ask personal questions, especially if you’re not close to that person. Even if you do know someone at work better than the rest, it’s probably best to leave it until the person confides in you. Sure, making small talk is important for rapport and to build relationships but there are some lines you just don’t cross, especially if it is a remark about someone’s appearances. This is simply because it is plain rude. Plus, you never know what is happening to a person’s personal life so it’s best to keep these insensitive questions at bay.
What are some things your colleague said to you that made you go “OMG I can’t believe he just said that”?
Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash.
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