Suffering from Workplace Jealousy?

You started work the same time as Michelle. You were both lunchtime buddies, bounced off ideas with one another, aced presentations and projects together. But now, Michelle is your new team lead – and you’re expected to report everything that you used to do together to her. You can’t help but feel some resentment, a lot of envy, and plenty of hmmm, why didn’t I get promoted like Michelle?

Say hello to workplace jealousy, that feeling of anxiety and insecurity about the talent of another colleague. It’s really common to feel this sense of jealousy; it is after all part of the human experience to have some form of rivalry and envy.

In the positive scheme of things, workplace jealousy can give you the heads up to better yourself so you can also achieve the same. But if handled negatively, workplace jealousy can build feelings of utter resentment and may even make you feel unworthy, wondering if you’ve been treated unfairly or if your colleague was given an extra pass when she perhaps didn’t deserve it. If it is someone you’re close to, having to suddenly switch to a subordinate role may render you uncooperative, which in the long term does more harm to your career.

What kind of harm? You may recognise this in yourself or in your colleagues who are experiencing some form of workplace jealousy:

• You belittle the other person’s accomplishment, putting it down to luck or being at the right place, right time instead of their own effort
• You don’t like being around the person you’re jealous about because it reminds you of your own shortcomings. No more lunches with Michelle!
• You disagree with every idea the other party brings up. Being jealous makes you question your self-worth, and when this happens, you aren’t up to being productive or argue for the sake of arguing
• You simply won’t work with the person you’re envious of!

If you’ve been feeling any of this, know that workplace jealousy is more common than it is being spoken about. We’ve all been there, and we all know it’s not a nice place to hang around for too long. So here are some tips on how you can curb that green-eyed monster.

#1 Don’t take it personally
When someone else is being promoted, know that it is not about you. Being sidelined for a promotion simply means the other person is better… and not because you’re not good enough. No matter how tempted you are, don’t make it a case of comparing yourself to the other person, lining up how you don’t measure up.

#2 Be happy
Or at least, try to be! You’ve already worked with your colleague for years and you should be happy for their achievement. If the table was flipped, your colleagues would most probably be giving you high fives instead of sulking. You’ll soon find genuine pleasure in being happy for another person who deserves it.

#3 Use envy to improve yourself!
Redirect your jealousy to something more positive – like working on yourself! Spending time comparing yourself to your colleague is precious time wasted that you can use to better yourself. Maybe learn from your colleague – see what she is doing that helped with her promotion and how you can emulate that so the next promotion is in the bag for you.

#4 Pinpoint the source of your jealousy
If you can’t do any of the above, at least do this: Understand what is making you jealous. Look at your envy as a tool for better insight into yourself. Are you jealous when your boss praises your colleague and not you? Are you jealous because your salary isn’t as high as your colleagues? Are you jealous because everyone else seems to have nothing but great things to say about Michelle? Once you know exactly what’s fueling your envy, it’s time to reconsider how to treat these feelings and look at improving yourself or your skills in areas you’re most insecure about. Doing this can help improve your self-confidence and give you a boost so that when someone gets a praise or is promoted, you can truly be happy for that person!

Photo by Headway on Unsplash.